I hit save and the Garmin does its thing. It sends the file up into some cloud or other and from there it makes its way to Strava.
I open the Strava app to discover I’ve gotten some kudos. I feel a warm glow of appreciation and smile to myself.
Kona Secrets book available
Kona Secrets: Lessons learned from over 50 Kona Qualifications.
Knowledge doesn’t produce results, action does. Just knowing how to do something doesn’t guarantee success, especially something as difficult as qualifying for Kona; you have to put in the hours. In this book I share some of the lessons I learnt between being a back-of-the-pack beginner to qualifying for the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii.
When I check back in with Garmin it tells me I’m a useless bag of shite. The warm glow dissolves into a messy brown puddle.
“Training Status- Unproductive: Fitness- falling: Training load- stable”
I’m liking the Strava kudos. The Garmin truth, somewhat less.
Still, if I’m honest I know I’m not doing anything that resembles training at the moment.
I’m jogging 30-40 minutes with the dogs a couple of times a week and managing a 90 min very slow easy run most Sunday’s. The latter mostly to justify the full Irish cooked breakfast in the park cafe afterwards.
I’m also on the bike three to four times a week. But that’s just riding around, aka JRA, aka junk miles, aka every ride includes a coffee stop (even if it’s only ninety minutes)
It’s what I think of as staying fit, light exercise. It’s not anything resembling training. So I don’t know why I’d be annoyed with a good old fashioned dose of the truth from the Garmin.
If I stood on the scales and it told me I was 71kg I wouldn’t curse at the scales because I was getting fat. Well maybe I would curse at it, after I’d picked it up, removed the batteries, reset it, given it a good shake (because that’s how you fix technical things in my world) If after my “technical” interventions it still said 71kg then I’d curse at it.
But I would also reluctantly admit it was the fault of the ice cream and cake rather than the scales that I’d gained 3kg (you’ll notice that the weight gain is the fault of the cake, not Robbo…)
But my point is that the scales simply delivers the bad news.
You now weigh 71kg.
It doesn’t add the comments “you’re getting fat Cummins and you’re getting fat because you’re eating too much shite” It simply presents the facts.
The Garmin however, it delivers it’s news in a different manner. What it’s saying to me is that you’re getting slow Cummins. And you’re getting slow because you’re too lazy to train. And what “training” (at this I picture the Garmin laughing at me) – you are doing isn’t working.
Stupid ass technology. It’s only any use when it’s telling me that I’m faster than I was yesterday.
I know that I’m slower than I was two months ago. I can feel it every time the road tips upwards. I do not need a stupid watch to rub my face in it too.
I’m also avoiding the more impartial bathroom scales just in case it decides to share its opinions as well as the current numbers…
On that note I’d better hike my arse out onto the bike and stop putting off this mornings training ride.
Chasing Kona eBook available
From smoker to back of the pack triathlete to the Ironman World Championships.
Read about how I overcame all of the odds and discovered what it would take to get to the Ironman World Championships – my eBook is now available to buy as an eBook on Amazon UK, Amazon US, Barnes & Noble, and iTunes
It is also available as a paperback at Wheelworx.