Hitting the fuck it switch

There’s about twelve things pulling on my time at the moment.

We’re moving house in less than a week so there’s all of the packing to be done.

There’s trips to the bank to sign papers. There’s trips to the solicitor to sign yet more papers.

Just when I think all of the papers have been signed we have to go and sign more.

What the absolute fuck???

The shop is also really busy at the moment and I don’t like being out a lot when it’s like that. The irony is that when it’s quiet I don’t like being out then either. If it’s quiet I’m feel that I need to be there to make sure that I don’t miss whatever business may be done.

There’s no pleasing some people…

The upshot of all of that is that at the moment there isn’t a whole lot of time or energy left for training. I’d been trying to force in sessions in whatever minutes I had left over but about a week ago I just sort of hit a wall.

I ran out of physical and mental capacity to squeeze anything else into a day. Despite that I continued to try to train but when I had to get out of the pool on Monday after only forty minutes and felt like I needed to go back to bed I knew that I had to drop something. And the something had to be training.

Training isn’t only a physical thing for me, or I guess for most people. There’s a huge element of mental, emotional and stress release that comes from a swim, bike or run.

At a time like this where there is a ton of extra stress it feels like something of a contradiction that I should train less.

Surely if training helps alleviate stress then I should continue? But maybe not if trying to fit it in causes more stress than it counteracts.

For me there’s also the whole lifestyle discipline thing that goes along with training. When I’m training hard I tend to go to bed early, get up early and eat clean “I’m all in”

I can have a tendency to drop everything if I can’t get what’s on the plan done. I just hit the “Fuck it” switch.

The logical part of me knows that if I can’t fit in the session I’ve planned but can do a thirty minute run that doing something is better than doing nothing.

The other aspect of this is that if I can’t train a whole lot I should still be careful of what I eat. This has been an area where I most often hit the “Fuck it” switch.

If training is gone out the window  then “fuck it” I may as well be eating cake.

All. Day. Long.

I know I shouldn’t really but, but, but…

Then the downward spiral starts.

No training.
Eating cake.
Later nights.
Eating cake.
Less sleep.
Eating cake.
Working longer hours and eating cake.

This downward spiral becomes self fuelling and it feels like all progress I’ve made has been lost.

But the reality is that it hasn’t. Don’t be a mental person Cummins… I remind myself that doing any small amount of training is better than none. 

And eating a little less cake is better than replacing three meals a day with a bucket load of chocolate tiffins. But fuck it I really like the chocolate tiffins…

On that note, I have a half an hour free so I’m off to the coffee shop…I mean I’m going for a quick run…