I’m in the middle of a 90 minute run and have a couple of ten minute hard intervals to do. I count down to the start of the first hard block and then accelerate up to speed.

It’s been a long time since I’ve run hard. Actually it’s been a long time since I’ve run at all. It’s almost five months since Ironman Texas and since I’ve trained properly.

If you want to follow the numbers more closely I’m on Strava as Rob Cummins Wheelworx or if you’re more of a pictures instead of reading type I post on Instagram as wheelworxrob.

 

Chasing Kona eBook available

From smoker to back of the pack triathlete to the Ironman World Championships.

Read about how I overcame all of the odds and discovered what it would take to get to the Ironman World Championships – my eBook is now available to buy as an eBook on Amazon UK, Amazon US, Barnes & Noble, and iTunes

It is also available as a paperback at Wheelworx.

In the intervening months I’ve jogged with the dogs a couple of times but that invariably involves poo stops (for the dogs, not me…well usually not for me anyway) and various detours into bushes.

So not exactly what you’d call training.

Although it is excellent reaction training as the dog will often decide to either stop right in front of me for no apparent reason or does a 90 degree turn also without any warning.

The first requires a full stop so as to avert a face plant. The second requires some serious sidestepping so as not to have my pelvis rearranged at a perpendicular angle to the rest of me.

Anyway, my point is that I haven’t run hard in quite a long time. Which means that my pacing is based off the memory of my fitness as opposed to my actual fitness.

So of course I start too fast. Instead of correcting myself I decide to hang on for dear life and hope for the best.

Not always a good training strategy.

So there I am burying myself when I notice that things in my shorts feel sort of breezy. I usually run in short split shorts and today is no different. In fact today I’m wearing my favourites. A pair of Saucony shorts that must be ten years old.

And today they feel like every one of those ten years has caught up with the liner elastic.

Things are moving about and threatening to make an appearance. I reach down and try to rearrange “stuff” so as not to have any escapees without disturbing my run rhythm. It’s a bit awkward but I manage.

It’s the harder running that’s causing the problems. When I was running easy the weakening elastic wasn’t under as much pressure. With all of the movement caused by the faster intervals the elastic is failing.

If the shorts were longer it also wouldn’t be a problem but these are short shorts. Like really short. I could be arrested if there is a full on liner elastic failure.

Luckily it’s very early on a Saturday morning and it’s cold and wet so there isn’t anyone around. Yet. Still, I know that the elastic will most likely hold on just until someone walks around the corner and then boom! It will let go and things will go sideways. Or downwards and outwards.

I’m trying to think of how I’ll explain the story that I’m visualising appearing in the local paper next week.

“Local runner claims shorts malfunction led to exposure incident” This reporter has his doubts however…

The only upside is that I’ve been so distracted by keeping things contained I’ve gotten through the first interval without really noticing how unpleasant it all was.

The second goes reasonably well although by the end my legs hurt way more than they should after just twenty minutes of fast running. Maybe I did go out a bit too hard.

Anyway. The shorts held, just about. And things stayed more or less contained but those favourite shorts are now relegated to at home, indoor treadmill work.

And the legs are unreasonably sore after what wasn’t a particularly long or hard run.

Shit.

Remembering being fit when you’re not is quite the pain in the ass. Almost as much as the lack of fitness itself.

If you want to follow the numbers more closely I’m on Strava as Rob Cummins Wheelworx or if you’re more of a pictures instead of reading type I post on Instagram as wheelworxrob.

 

Chasing Kona eBook available

From smoker to back of the pack triathlete to the Ironman World Championships.

Read about how I overcame all of the odds and discovered what it would take to get to the Ironman World Championships – my eBook is now available to buy as an eBook on Amazon UK, Amazon US, Barnes & Noble, and iTunes

It is also available as a paperback at Wheelworx.